Open Letter to September 10th People
Society in every state is a blessing, but government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one; for when we suffer, or are exposed to the same miseries by a government, which we might expect in a country without a government, our calamity is heightened by reflecting that we furnish the means by which we suffer.
Now that the Left, now virtually synonymous with the Democratic Party, has finally regained control of Congress, I find it amusing that they have suddenly discovered bipartisanship, civil discourse, and rational debate. The situation reminds me of my childhood when certain relatives and neighborhood hangers-on were such sticklers for rules and good sportsmanship--when they were "it", or had the ball. Otherwise, it was a Darwinian dog-eat-dog world. Naturally, being Leftists, you think everyone but yourselves are too stupid to know whats going on. That being, of course, that now that you're back on top you'll be wanting to resume pretending to accept our values so that you can use them against us.
I will say only two things about your victory in the off-year elections. One, congratulations. Two, don't make the mistake of wallowing in hubris and believing that the electorate mandated your philosophies or agendas. Our people got brutally spanked for the sin of "going native". In other words, they started acting like you. I give you this advice only because I know you'll never take it.
As you've probably noticed, you aren't getting many takers. That's because we have long since realized that being civil and trying to engage the Left in rational debate is the intellectual and political equivalent of bringing a dull rusty butter knife to a gunfight. Yes, grim necessity requires that we sink to your level. Sad, but necessary.
Obviously, I don't speak for every Vast Right Wing Conspirator, but I do speak for quite a few, and we are sick of pretending that you guys aren't idiots. Or insane, Or insane idiots. Insanity has been occasionally defined as doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different outcome. This behavior is very nearly the Democratic Party's perennial platform. No matter how many times your ideas fail, you are always ready to slap a fresh coat of paint on the same old disasters, give it a new name, and proclaim it to be some kind of innovation. You never seem to suspect that the only ones you're fooling are yourselves. You remind us of the old joke about the dim-witted person who constantly beats his head against a brick wall because it feels so good when he stops.
We've long since given up hope that you folks will be able to learn to learn from your mistakes. It must be incredibly comforting to believe that the only two outcomes possible for the implementation of your ideas is dazzling excess and cynical underfunding by unfeeling Republicans. But we really thought that even you guys could figure out the lessons of 9-11. You never cease to amaze us though. The mass slaughter of thousands of Americans drinking their morning coffee is proof that America is a swaggering tyrant that needs to be put in its place.
We would never dream of infringing your right to wallow in unearned guilt or self-loathing. We know that some people can't "get off" or feel right without a generous dose of humiliation and degradation. You are free to manifest your self-abasing Euro-envy in any way you want. You may look for inspiration to any barbarian with a bone in his nose or severed human head in his hand. You can believe until your dying die that your coercive egalitarian theories should be further into practice because it's better to live in a society where everyone is lowered to the bottom than one where everybody advances unequally.
What we do object to is your insistence that we all commit suicide with you. We object even more to your insane insistence that we go first. We find it hard to believe that you and we live in the same place. I don't know about you, but I live in a country worth living in and dying for. I look around me and see a lot of things I don't like. Most of it your handiwork.
When I was younger I used to see bumper stickers that read, "America, love it or leave it!" While I agreed with the patriotism they expressed I always thought them to be a little harsh. Nowadays, not so much. You see, not only do we live here, but so do our families and friends. I know it may be hard for you family-shunning, spouse-rejecting, career-worshiping, convenience-abortion-having, low-lifes to conceive of (if you'll pardon the expression), but almost everybody but you cares about whether our children, grandchildren, and multiple great-grandchildren survive and prosper.
Naturally, you'll object on environmental grounds and say that if you have your way our descendants will get to live on a pristine Earth. Yes, that's all very important, but I'm not sure how important clean air is to a 7-year old who is having her clitoris removed with a chainsaw.
As a final note, I'd like to thank you guys for doing one thing right. After all credit is due where credit is due. All the data I've seen show that the farther to the Left one is on the political scale the more likely one is to have either a single child, or be entirely childless. I would like to thank you for taking the initiative to put chlorine in the gene pool. I've studied enough evolutionary theory to know that you're applying selective pressure against yourselves and gradually cleansing the gene pool. After all, mother nature doesn't care who's right, just who breeds. If you don't breed, you don't matter, so how superior could you guys really be?