They Named a Submarine After This Guy?
After the budget cuts, base closings, and personnel discharges the Seawolf was less than impressive. (Shown actual size.) Jimmy Carter came from out of no-where to be elected president in 1976. I'm still positive that the disastrous 4 years that followed were the result of a Watergate fueled anti-Nixon backlash that unfortunately washed over his fellow Republicans as well. Either that or it was all the coke spoons shoveling tons of snow up millions of nostrils that did it. Either way, we elected a numbnut.
In 1976 I was 16 years-old and a 110 pounds lighter than I am right now. I squeezed my slim young body into skin-tight bell-bottomed jeans, wore equally tight shirts, and my ever-present boots. My hair was long, frequently to my shoulders or longer, and I was fully equipped with 5 rings, multiple necklaces, and bracelets. My car was littered with 8-track tapes from bands like Kiss, Aerosmith, Ted Nugent, Nazareth, Rush (my favorite), Boston, Foreigner, and others. My primary objective in life--nay, my sacred calling--was to get laid. When I got called to jury duty the defense attorneys always wanted me on the jury.
I also was pro-military, pro-intelligence, and innately pro-American. I believed that America was a great country that had done far more good than bad in its history. I was a staunch capitalist and despised the welfare state. I saw for myself the effects of government regulations as the muscle cars I so longed for were legislated, taxed, and fuel-shortaged out of existence. I was also pro-law enforcement, which surprised a lot of people back then.
So, on that freezing November day in Marquette, Michigan, I watched the election returns with a sinking feeling as this guy that nobody had even heard of not so long ago became the president of my country. Our neighbor came by later and was in a jovial mood for the same reason that I was depressed. He asked, and I told him, why I was so gloomy. He told me that since we were Southern Baptists from down south he figured we'd be ecstatic. I turned to him and said the most prophetic thing I've ever uttered, "Mr. Carrier, I've been raised in the south by Southern Baptist Democrats and this country is in a lot of trouble." He cursed at me and left.
Now as the years have gone by I've mellowed in my attitude towards Southerners and Southern Baptists, re-embraced my roots if you will. However, my frustration with the Democratic Party and its minions has only increased. I have to walk a fine line because many of my relatives and friends haven't made the switch yet, and may not ever. Nevertheless, I feel fully justified in my position because my prophesy came true in spades.
The disaster I envisioned for the country back then would have been paradise compared to how things actually turned out. Yes, I know. Jimmy had a lot on his presidential plate. The country had a lot of problems when he took over and a lot of things happened afterwards. The point is still that Jimmy had a knack for either doing nothing or the wrong thing. He never failed to fail as the saying goes.
So Jimmy, the former Navy submariner and military neglecter-in-chief , gets a $3.5 billion Seawolf class submarine named after him. This is an even bigger honor than it sounds because you usually have to be dead to get a ship named after you. All this for a guy who let dozens of Americans languish as hostages in Iran for 444 days. Then, when the hostages were released on Reagan's inauguration day, his supporters tried to steal credit by saying that Reagan was stealing credit for the results of their 444 days of diplomacy and negotiate which just happened to bear fruit on that day. Puh-leeez! Does anyone else find it ironic that the most heavily armed submarine in history is named after the man who most likely wouldn't have had the guts to order it out of port?
There is speculation that as an additional honor to Jimmy the Seawolf submarines will be redesignated the Appeasement class.The submarine itself is a marvel of American engineering and credit to those who built it. It's a pity that it's the last of its class, and the only one of this particular stretched version. I would much rather see my tax money spent for something like this than some idiotic pork barrel projects, or foreign aid for our enemies, or subsidized overproduction of some product, you get the picture.
I do, however, think that the honor is not deserved. It is a slap in the face of everyone who suffered from his principled ineptitude, from the Iranian-hostages to the ill-equipped military men who died in his belated ill-fated rescue attempt to all of us who had to wait in gas lines while listening to him tell us to "wear a sweater" on the radio.
After this disappointing prototype the former president was asked to leave the design team. After he left office, Jimmy did the country the favor of fading into the woodwork for a while and spent his time building houses for poor people. We might have learned to forgive after a while, but unfortunately, as often happens, people who had forgotten his presidency, or never experienced it, started to resurrect him as a "statesmen". If you've listened to him you'll realize he's loonier than ever and when it comes to this country, he still never fails to fail.
